The Quoted Without Regard to Content Hall of Fame
[Public] Clover has tried to ride on her ass before. It.. was.. uncomfortable, to say the least.
[Public] Kerrig: I made it for several hours in a holosuite with a nude Ferengi. So did Tj.
[Public] Kolar: Don't tell me you've never *HEARD* The Governor of Hellesport song? %)
[Public] Kolar starts up his boombox, and turns his hat around backwards. o/~ The Gov-er-nor of Hel-es-port is mad as
mad can be! / He killed off all his officers and now he's after me o/~
[Public] Kolar: o/~ The Governor of Hellsport is weak like little girl.. he tried to run ten meters, but stopped and had
to hurl! o/~ Oh. Hi, F'al. %)
[Public] Kolar: o/~ The governor of Hellesport is fat as fat can be / His stench killed of the Klingons, and now its
killing me. o/~
[Public] Kolar: o/~ The Governor of Hellesport has tried to read my mind / But the big word that I am thinking, have
left him far behind! o/~
[Public] Kolar: o/~ The Governor of helleport is not enjoying this song / I think it's because he's irritable.. maybe he
lost his bong? o/~
[
Public] Kolar: o/~ The Governor of Hellesport has caused many, many wars! / Now if only he'd remember.. how to open
doors! o/~
[Public] Kolar turns off his boom box and sits back down again. :)
Fleet Cmdr. Clover says, "Computer, locate my ass"
A feminine voice says, "Clover's ass is located in her chair."
[Public] Marquardt decides to get up from his chair.
[Login] Marquardt has disconnected (total: 18)
[Public] Clover: Is his internet connection linked through his ass?
Vrihtaev is losing control of the language area of his grain.
Siris whimpers. Please, don't make me beg. I don't wanna be stuck here with sedatives, stimulants, and a li'l Vulcan girl.
[Public] M'erc: The Klingon Empire can neither confirm or deny that they have a secret stockpile of mint-chocolate cookies.
(edited for length)
[Governor Clover's commpin]: Tamatsu Ushio's voice says, ". . . Oh, and we want you to sexually service the next
federation vessel that comes through here. Personally. I think a crate of casaba melons would be nice, too."
A shrubbery suddenly appears.
The shrubbery explodes!
The computer's voice says, "Explosion on the bridge."
The red alert siren starts blaring.
A wall panel begins to flash red.
Envoy Jeyuol gives a final twitch, then dies.
Vail has died.
Vail gives a final twitch, then dies.
Poietes has died.
[Public] Vrihtaev is going to bed right this escond.
[Login] Vrihtaev has disconnected (total: 5)
[Public] Letek is going to bed with Vri, right this second.
[Login] Letek has disconnected (total: 4)
[Public] Errant finds 330 on *qooc somewhat questionable in nature.
[Public] Errant especially enjoys that it's 'little' Sarion.
[Public] Mel (to Errant): And what did you name yours? :P
[Public] Errant (to Mel): I haven't seen Nyn lately to find an appropriate name. :P
[Public] Saeihr: Well, the size of Nyn's teddybear must be taken into account here.
[Public] Saeihr: The proportionate ratio of the teddybear in contrast with the size of Simkin's
mister happy apparently warrants said mister happy the title of 'little sarion.'
[Public] Errant: Indeed.
[Public] Errant votes that we petition the Q to change Simkin's name immediately.
[Public] Errant: Very well. I will bring back the Dominion. Little Sarions everywhere shall
quake.
[Public] Dae: I'm assuming you all are naming them in the hopes you can train them to come when
called?
[Public] Saeihr: Anyway, therefore, x = the size of Nyn's teddybear, y = the size of Simkin's
mister happy, and z = the difference between the two. x - z = y. It's a very simple equation.
[Public] Errant: Unless you add Nyn, in whch case you have to take y squared, but fortunately,
zero squared is one, so there is something to, uh, look at, anyway, that's enough of that, and
I'm back to work, cheerio.
[Public] Saeihr: But then, we also have to consider Nyn's size; how large is Simkin's mister
happy in proportion to Nyn? The size of Nyn would directly effect the way in which she
construes the size of Simkin's mister happy.
[Public] Errant: Nyn could be an eskimo midget for all we know, but Mr. Happy is just as happy
either way.
[Public] Saeihr: It makes perfect sense. If you were the size of say, a mouse, then if Simkin's
mister happy was the size of a bread loaf (note: LOL), then you would consider the mister happy
to be very large indeed; worthy of the title 'large sarion,' respectively.
[Public] Errant thinks Saehir explaining this is rather like hearing about how to roast a
tenderloin from Ghandi, but OK.
[Public] Saeihr: Anyhow. a = Nyn's size, b = mister happy's size, c = teddybear's size, x=the
difference between mister happy's size and Nyn's size, y = the difference between teddybear's
size and mister happy's size, z = the difference between teddybear's size and Nyn's size. a - b
/ a - c + y - z ( x + c )
[Public] Errant: No no no, you need the second integral of the the ratio between...
[Public] Saeihr: But that's implied by the frequency of the data set; you see, if x = 2 at
frequency F, then quite simply y = 3 at the frequency F-squared.
[Public] Errant doesn't want to know about Nyn's frequency.
[Public] Saeihr: Then, if you apply the same logic to the other numerals, you get this pattern:
1, 8, 6, 1, 4, 3, 1, 2, 1, and so on.
[Public] Errant thinks we've migrated out of the world of Nyn and Simkin and into the world of
Saehir's algebra homework.
[Public] Saeihr: This explains why Nyn's size, while undetermined at this point, can be guessed
at by the approximate size of the teddybear, as determined by the median size of all teddybears
in existance.
[Public] Errant: Tell you what, I'll simplify things. She's pretty small.
[Public] Errant: Like, this big --> <--
[Public] Saeihr: Well, if you assume that then you're going to get a pretty indefinite answer.
I rounded it off to three digits (compared by means of cube units) I'll call EFG. The size of
the teddybear is, in those same units, 24. So, if EFG is the size of a regular human Nyn's age
and gender, then 24 divided by EFG equals 183, which is the approximate size of x number of
mister happies..
[Public] Errant: Whoa. Mr. Happy multiplied?
[Public] Saeihr (to Errant): No, no, no; you see, that was only for the purpose of determining
the integer which is equivelent to the mister happy in question. To actually find the
approximate integer, you must first decipher this equation into prime numbers which must be
inverted by means of a calculus-route: 19 * 6 - x / 6x - 42
[Public] Errant: Ok. Can we not have our math teacher do sex ed anymore?
[Public] Dae: Who's Ed?
[Public] Errant: I don't know, but he's lucky.
[Public] Saeihr: But this won't work unless one of the integers turns out to be a prime number;
for example: 19 * 6 / 6x -7 = 718x, which won't work unless there is an even number of numerals
in the original data set (which there isn't, obviously)
[Public] Saeihr: There has to be a number denotation for Nyn's size, or the problem will end of
like a mixed equation; i.e., 6/4x * 8, which is an impossible figure. Nyn's size is directly
equivelent to at least mister happy times 2.
[Public] Errant: Please. Stop.
[Public] Saeihr: Alright, alright; I don't want to get into calculus, so I'll end it here and
just say that Simkin's mister happy is just as big as Nyn likes it to be and it's none of you
guys' business. ;*)
[Public] Errant: ...and that's Saehir's innovative, Rihannsu approach to taking a person's
measurements and, er, 'happiness' and converting it into complex, difficult mathematical
equations, thus eclipsing the combined knowledge of the rest of the MOO and reaffirming our
belief that she, like most Rihannsu, is a crackhead.
[Cartel] B'largh doesn't necessarily think klingons would object to bathing, you'd just have to do it right. You'd have
to hike into the woods and dive into a freezing river or something, no tubs or perfumed water or anything silly like
that.
[Cartel] B'largh: And there'd have to be roaring involved somehow. Or at least bellowing.
[Cartel] Kolar (to B'largh): When you toweled yourself off with tree bark.
[Cartel] B'largh (to Kolar): Naah.. probably just shake really hard. Either that or just drip dry while chasing your
dinner through the forest naked, which would likely dirty you up again pretty good.
[System] KABOOM
[System] What happen??
[System] Brian: Somebody set us up the bomb!
[System] CATS: Good evening gentlemen!!
[System] CATS: All your base are belong to us.
[System] CATS: You have no chance to survive make your time.
[Login] Vrihtaev has connected (total: 12)
[Public] Mango takes Galt's smooch and passes it to Vrih.
[Public] Vrihtaev dips Galt and gives him a passionate kiss.
[Public] Cygnata: Vrihtaev, you're reminding me of my Robin Willimas - Alcohol mp3. Just how many drinks did you *have*?
;)
[Public] Vrihtaev: I can type if I want too. It's like synthehol, you can dismiss the effects whenever you want.
[Public] Vrihtaev (to Cygnata): 12
[Public] Vrihtaev: Or 13
[Public] Cygnata: you're going to have the hangover from hell
[Public] Vrihtaev Ldoesn't do hangover.
[Public] Vrihtaev: Completamenta sono bevuto!
[Public] Hibiki: Drink plenty of water before you sleep and you won't have a hangover ;)
[Public] Vrihtaev (to Hibiki): I had a bumnch of shrimp, they live in water.
Galdon wanders in from the landing bay, looking preoccupied and heading towards the turbolift.
A male Terran perches on the docking board, squawking and flapping his arms.
Aide Daluk says, "Computer, grant me access, please"
A feminine voice says, "Thank you for asking nicely. Command accepted."
[Public] Troge licks his finger and runs it over the spoon ridge on his head.
[Public] Troge: Grr baby, VERY GRR!
[Combat] Science hit Jesus in the head with a bat'telh for [12, 122] (SUPERLATIVE)
[Combat] Jesus has died from injuries.
[Director] Frool: SCIENCE PREVAILS!
[Subspace] HAIL (1) CUGW Destrel: This is the CUGW Reklar, requesting permission to cross UFP space on a mission of
peace.
[Subspace] HAIL (1) CUGW Reklar: No it isn't
In the Beginning was The Plan
And then came the Assumptions
And the Assumptions were without form
And the Plan was completely without substance
And the darkness was upon the face of the Workers
And the Workers spoke amongst themselves, saying
"It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh."
And the Workers went unto their Supervisors and sayeth,
"It is a pail of dung and none may abide the odor thereof."
And the Supervisors went unto their Managers and sayeth unto them,
"It is a container of excrement and it is very strong,
such that none may abide by it."
And the Managers went unto their Directors and sayeth,
"It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength."
And the Directors spoke among themselves, saying one to another,
"It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong."
And the Directors went unto the Vice Presidents and sayeth unto them,
"It promotes growth and is very powerful."
And the Vice Presidents went unto the President and sayeth unto him,
"This new Plan will actively promote the growth and efficiency of this
Company, and in these Areas in particular."
And the President looked upon The Plan,
And saw that it was good, and The Plan became Policy.
And this is how Shit Happens.
[HP] Vaebn: Every player on this game seems to put a damned padd in their traits, and be The Flash or a sharpshooter.
[HP] Clix didn't.
[HP] Frool: No but you had a 9 stamina and 5 medical...DOCTOR!
[HP] Vaebn: No one on this game should have a 9+ beam unless they want to shoot kids near Washington D.C> from teh
trunk of a car!
[HP] Vaebn (to Clix): Yeah. What the fuck?
[HP] Vaebn (to Clix): Were you planning to cure your patients through long bouts of sex you'd have teh stamina to
make it through?